Back Home

I am back home for the holidays. It's good to be back with the family,the familiar surroundings,smells,sights,craziness, my cats,my room. Meeting friends certainly made the trip worthwhile too. I cleaned today, not having had the opportunity to do so in quite a while....it's so theraputic.It's been a trying 4 days also, having to see my mom's health slowly ebbing away. I feel a little guilty sometimes for not being here for her. She is alone and lonely, removed from everyone-I try to understand her but it's hard. I'm going over some sites to help me understand her illness and maybe find ways to try and deal with her condition. I pray every night for God to give her peace and I trust that HE will provide for her.I feel grateful that I have friends who are understanding and want to help in any way possible. When my brother's down, we will discuss what the next step will be. but for now, I'm glad I'm home and able to spend as much time as I can with my mother.

The "Onion Group" strikes again!!!!

Well, the "Onion group" delivered on their promise to lock us in! When we all arrived for our morning meeting at 9.30am this morning (8/12/08) we were all locked in with the exception of our "mini GM" and HR Mgr who were called out for negotiations to their demands! They did not even let us go to the loo at one point and we had to argue for a while for them to finally allow us to go. Of course food and drinks was out of the question! It was a small room however and there were about 10 of us there,so we played games and kept ourselves occupied. We covered all sorts of topic from politics to religion to mundane stuff just to make sure we were always in high spirits. Amidst all this, some of us even managed to catch some zzzz's...
Suffice to sat it was a real emotional ordeal but we tried not to show it, while all this was going on the group themselves parked in front of the meeting room, though I'm pretty sure they had food and drinks!
After about 6 hours in lock down, the issue was finally resolved! What an ordeal! After which then group had the audacity to "thank"us for our cooperation! This is truly an experience and one that will be in my memory for a while. I don't know if there will be anymore of such acts but there is always a first for everything and THIS was certainly a first!
So I'm now counting down the days,eagerly waiting for my departure even for a temporary while away from this maddening place!

10 more days

10 more days to go!! wohooo!!!!! This anticipation is killing me.Time seems to be moving too slow. I've been so efficient that I've even finished packing,done my Christmas shopping, now all I need to do is to wait!! Wait!Wait!!
I'm listening to INXS right now, ahhh...I remember driving in my car on my way back from JB-Kuantan,the music blaring loudly to keep me awake on my journey..those were the days. I haven't driven in 6 whole months..it'll feel a bit awkward I suppose.
Well, tomorrow apparently our good people from the "Onion group" intends to lock some of us inside the office over some dispute that is not our fault anyway! Well, let's see what will happen! It's a bloody farce I tell you! The only thing these guys know how to do perfectly is going on strike and locking people up!
I really cannot wait to get out and let my hair down! Ahh...to be back home with my family and cats and bed...10 more days and counting!!!

Looking for Rex!

I WANT A DOG!!!! And I specifically want THIS one!! I'm thinking that if I write it down maybe the universe will send me one! (Interval..It's Beyonce!!! If I were a boy") wohhooo...I so LOVE this song!!!

Ok..back to my dog! It's a lab and his name is Rex! That's what I'll name him and he'll live in a big house(corner lot) of course with lots of running space!! ahhhh...I so want a doggie...

OK...so universe..do your thing!!

a lot of stuff

I'm sitting in my room going through pictures of yest years...all those wonderful moments.I laughed aloud reminiscing old times.It's not like I'm that old! all the more I want to go home soon. I can't wait! It feels like a drag...looking back I think I've grown up a lot,from the way I looked and my dress sense..I suppose. Don't know if I HAVE a dress sense! I'm listening to Hitz.fm and David Cook is on the radio...ahhhh...sigh!!!!

I'm having trouble sleeping these past weeks, must be coz I have so many things on my mind..plus the idiot box is trying it's best to hypnotize me and making me watch all these tv shows which in the end proves useless to me! Well at least the Travel & Living is good,that's my whole addiction now,ever since it came I've been like a "jakun" not wanting to miss anything!!!!

I have a mind to place a sign on my TV saying "the Idiot Box-the biggest time waster"! Tonight I aim to go to sleep by 10pm! I will not compromise this and I will have to..HAVE to get up and work out!!!! It was a regular activity for me but ever since winter came I've been like a bear, only wanting to hibernate and not get up!!Help!! Help!!! The chamomile tea helps a bit..it sooths me..but I cant be drinking that all the time! Today I wanted to go shopping but then I decided to forgo it -been shopping quite a bit lately-must be therapeutic, probably that's the only thing I can do! I wonder what I'll say in briefing tomorrow, sometimes I feel so pressured to say something or else the GM would say.."What,sure you have nothing to say??" What's with that??? If everything is said before, then what else to say?? Morning meeting is the worst part of the day for me...maybe I need to tell myself that it's the best part of the day.coz it IS a meeting/briefing;there must be something to say. Most of the time, meetings can turn into lectures in some form or other..and it's constant repetition of the same thing!! I really wish I could shake some of the people here!! SHAKE!! SHAKE!!! Give their brains a Big jiggle in order to work.

I wonder...well here's to going to bed early and getting up early too.. :)

Change is coming!

I've got the dreaded flu!! I hate being weak, nose all runny,eyes all watery..recovery taking too long, I have so much to do!I'm contemplating my i week in Mumbai. Though it's already now 2 weeks since I came back, so much had transpired there and still the activities and converstations are fresh in my mind. I did a lot of "reflective" thinking while I was out there, had some eye opening conversations too-boy sometimes you can't see who you are till someone tell it to your face! It was so good to hear the truth and now it makes me want to push myself even more!

Meeting people from the other parts of the world gave me a real jolt-damn, so many of them are good! Where do I fall into all this? I asked myself. Why me?? Well there must have been some reason I was chosen, right? Then, I realized there was. I learnt to not take charge for once, to let others do the work, I sat back and observed and facilitated...it was a strange feeling..but I got used to it,finally. I think I did a pretty good job too. I became mentor to some...that was a great feeling-to be able to contribute to something.

But more than that, I realized that I had a lot of growing to do. Enough of playing-it was time to take serious stock of my career...I knew that if I wanted to achive my goal..I had, simply had to get ahead!

Change- is what I'm aiming for..just like Barrack Obama wants for the US...."Change is coming" he said...well it certainly IS, for me! I WANT to change, I WILL change, I AM change!!!

C H A N G E.........

Live from Mumbai

Coming live from Mumbai...it's Mary J...wow!! it;s finally here..the training of all training...it's The Business Of Training. Nervousness setting in, excitement somewhere in between, palms are a bit clammy,heart beating a little faster, what to expect? who do I meet? Act and BE confident!!! Thats the key.Be myself and all will be fine.

Wish me luck!Good luck Mary!! You are the best!

The One

This morning while getting ready for work, a thought came to my mind about finding "The One". Who is "The One"? Where can I find him, will I know if he is "The One" and how will I know? All women go through this stage of asking this question I think, and now it's my turn. Having loved and lost-heart broken...is there truly "The One" out there for me? Is he also going through the same motion-wondering where he can find his "One". Are men just as anxious as women are when finding love? They are better at hiding thier emotions than women are...

The One-I would love to meet him someday..I hope he is looking for me. Come find me quick, save me from myself, save me from unwanted temptations..that are everywhere...

Maybe this hope of finding "The One" will keep me focused, and help me move on...I admit I AM a bit shallow.. I'm trying to see past the physical aspects and look deeper into the heart because I have learnt that most of them who look "beautiful" are snakes in disguise.

So, here's to finding "The One"...let's hope it's worth the while..

mmm

A new Chapter.....

A A

NEW NEW

CHAPTER CHAPTER

BEGINS......... BEGINS..........

My Adventure

I'm just back from my little adventure and boy was it really!! It was absolutely amazing. The beauty, the people, the company-everyting and more than I ever thought. I told myself that I would enjoy this vacation even if I was going alone and I DID!!! I'm glad I did coz my heart is aching now-at least this trip can help me ease the pain I'm feeling. Whenever I feel it, or it creeps into my mind/heart- I will recall all the brave things I did and accomplished. If I could go on a trip to a place I barely know, then I face almost anything!
I took a journal with me and logged down my thoughts and feelings without missing a beat, it was my confidante of sorts when I was lonely or alone. In quiet times, I sat with my book in hand and wrote anything and everything that came to me.
I'm recalling two songs from Gabrielle " Rise Again" and " Out of Reach" songs that have been my companion in times of healing, and they are with me once again, for it appears that I need to do some healing fast!
But hey, this is about my adventure- not sappy story!!! So get out of this rut, Mary you are a brave and strong woman and are deserving of so much more!

Off to my adventure

I more day to my little adventure! Boy, I'm nervous and excited at the same time..I've done most of my packing..I'm to go as an Indian national( all hush..hush and undercover..hahahaha) so weird..just to get discounts, I need to be a different nationality( although I AM an Indian by race.) but right now I only wish I knew Hindi! hmm...Hindi bolna?? Thoda..thoda...damn!!! that's definitely not good enough...
I went shopping today, went to get stuff for my trip too...did a lot of thinking too...a lot...about the same subject!! Why??? Why??? Anyway, I feel a tiny bit better now. I need to get plenty of sleep for sure or else I will be zombified and ruin my trip. I will be HAPPY!!! Heart be Happy!! Good thoughts! Good thoughts!
Relax.......take it easy..chilll..(wz a triple "l") It's my day off so...don't do heavy thinking...keep calm..

Bored@ the office

I'm currently sitting in my lair...if you can call it that..(my office) actually..feeling like time has frozen or at least ticking by soooo very slowwwwwwwwlllllllyyyyyyyyyy! It's a bloody Saturday and i'm working..I did'nt get much sleep last night-my brain was overly active(no clue why!!!)
So am not in a grand mood either..a bit catty I must say..often times wanting to snarl at people instead of smiling at them.
I'm going over my list of things to do and guess what..most of its done amnd am only waiting for replies or responses..and it's the coming of the holidays here..so yippie!! I'm going on a self adventure!
Now, that- I have not done in my entire life!! so this is a first for me...hello world!! here I come!
I don't know what to expect actually coz i'm not from around these parts but I hope to have a blast and live to tell all about it!
but back to my office -hahaha..I just realized that i'm blogging from my office..and that is a no-no..I want my bed or room! I want to just laze around for a bit!
Stay postive Mary!! Don't lose focus....think good thought and that will keep you going!
Every few seconds, i glance at the clock hoping it's time to knock off but it's only 3.40pm, another 2 1/2 hours to go :(
I checked out all the different websites I go to....what else is there to do? Think Mary! Think!!
Be useful and productive -I don't want to think!! (my mind is fighting back) My mind does a lot of unnecessary thinking...about anyting and everything...stupid, silliy mundane things....and at the most inappropriate times!! Like when I'm trying to fall asleep!!! (I'm snarly again..)
Oh well..so now I've even written in my blog...so what else?? i'll go find some things for e to do...

nothing much

It's October now...nearly a month since I last wrote. I was watching "Friends" the other day, well actually every day and I was wondering if there were any group of friends who resemble the cast in real life. I mean, in the sitcom they all joke around even on serious stuff...like when Ross's laptop crashed coz Chandler read an e-mail containg a virus...I mean if it were me, I would have lost my top and thrown a tantrum for at least 1/2 hour and then I'd gripe about it again and agian. Sometimes, I envy them...the characters of Friends coz they have such carefree lives and have each other all the time. Even Joey moves out with the Bings to thier house!! Why cant friends stay together like before, why do they go away? I'm looking forward to meting my friends in Dec...yay!!!! Can't wait! Ahhh...well..that's life i guess....

Explosion

The cat has nine lives...I think I lost one! How?? Coz this morning my GM blew his top like I'v never seen and his anger scorched and burnt us all!!!! Damn, he was screaming at the top of his lungs!!! A 30 min briefing turned into a 1 hour lecture....my GM usually gives us one of these but not in this magnitude....volcanic proportions!!

I can understand his frustrations, we're supposed to be his Managers but do we manage things for him?? NO!! Well not all the time! Sometimes, we are really good, but other times we're just plain careless. I'm not trying to say that I'm at all perfect, but he harps on the same thing all the time, I don't understand why some people don't get it!! They are just so dense or what???

I try my best to advise them, but what do I get excuses! It does feel like I'm banging my head on a brick wall!!

Whatever we discussed at the workshop all forgotten-they go back to being their old self!!

It's damn freaking frustrating to see my GM facing a head on collision against some really stubborn people!! Sheesh!! I just hope that at least some people will see the light....I just hope and pray.

A Malaysian in Nepal

This Merdeka day, as I'm sitting in my cozy room away from my home, family and country..I ask myself this question-one that is asked a thousand times over; What is it to be Malaysian?

I was watching the Discovery channel and ironically or perhaps coincidentally it was about all things Malaysian. It showed the construction of the Petronas Twin Towers, a Lion Dance competition held in Penang and then moved on to show a restoration programme on the Merdeka Stadium.

During the programme, they showed clips of how Tunku Abdul Rahman stood on the dias and shouted "Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka..seven times while the Malaysian flag wa hoisted. At that very moment..tears welled up in my eyes, I began to feel emotions never felt before in my life!

I am in general a patriotic person, but being this emotional is something so foriegn to me.

Maybe it was because I was in a different country, I begi to cherish my own even more! So I kept asking myself, What is it like for me to be Malaysian?

To me being MALAYSIAN is knowing where I came from. Being Malaysian is knowing, understanding and appreciating the diversity of my country. It is knowing that there is no other place I would rather be than in a place that I am familiar with-be it culture, language or people.

Being Malaysian is knowing that my forefathers paved the way for me to live in a place where there is peace, racial harmony, stability-even though there are tough times. I am grateful and proud to say that I'm a Malaysian.

There is certainly no place like home, and it has taken me a trip to the other side of the world to appreciate this fact!

So to Malaysia-A Happy Independence Day-may you continue to prosper for years to come!

Happy Anniversary to me...

It's finally arrived!!! I've touched the 1 year mark here in Nepal. Right about now, I had arrived at the hotel, tired and excited with a tinge of nervousness. Boy, how time flies. I wonder what the next year will be like. As a gift to myself, I went out and did some shopping..in a way it was some sort of therapy too. The day before was the most nightmarish time ever as a Duty Manager. I had an encounter with the MOST HORRIBLE Couple of the Century!!! They practically harrased me all the way till the end! Geez, I hate them, truly!!

They really tormented me and in the end,my GM had to intervene and gave them 10 pieces of his mind!!! YAY, to my GM!! I had nightmares last night and could'nt sleep soundly at all!

I learnt my lesson too, I suppose. I have to be firm and think first before making a decision. I havent been exercising enough lately, I have to do it tomorrow. Need to get myself organized as well..be more productive on weekends. Turing into a couch potato....READ a booklah...that works!

hmmm......

Gai Jatra

Wow!!! What a day!! Today is marks one of the many festivals here in Nepal. This one's called Gai Jatra..Gai (is Nepali for cow) and Jatra ( is journey). There are many reason for this "celebration". This all began when king Pratap Malla & his queen lost their son. The queen was so grief stricken that in order to console her, the people decided that one person from each household that had lost a loved one that year come before the queen.

It is also said that to make the queen laugh again, the people came up with creative ideas, like cross dressing, poking fun at politicians or highly ranked people,wearing costumes,etc. So, during the procession, the cow or a symbol of the cow leads at the front and the others carry a long bamboo pole adorned with Black cloth for the women and white for male pictures of the dead and anything that can make the journey for the dead comfortable. Much like the Ching Meng back home!

It is truly a remarkable spectacle, I've never seen anything like it ever! And to top it off, throngs and throngs of people all over Bhaktapur...so amazing..the colours,sights and of course the sounds!!!

The more I am here, the more I discover how this country is still somewhat untouched by modernity.

God's little piece of heaven

As chaos surrounds us,

As we breathe in the dust and smell those foul ordours,

There is also somewhere on God's earth,

That's a little piece of Heaven.

As you watch the sun peaking from between the mountains,

A sense of calm washes over you,

As you gaze at what uncovers before you,

It reveals God's little peice of Heaven.

In a little place called Nagarkot,

Untouched by all that's bad,

You can always count on one thing,

And that's God's little piece of Heaven.

Rum Doodle..40,000 1/2 feet...

Well....what a night y'day was!! We were at Rum Doodle ...a place like no other I've seen! It's where I had my Visa party...yup..that's it! I finally got myVisa and I was out celebrating wz my buddies from work!!

Well not all Nepali's are party poopers...they also know how to have fun! The best part was that I had to get on a motorbike to get ther..and as much as I dislike R-A-I-N...I also have an aversion to bikes..of any kind. Looking at them from afar is quite ok...getting on one is the worst part...but I had no choice..that was my only mode of transportation!..mmm...my driver...God bless her soul...was patient enough with me...and took all my whining....she told me not to hold on to her..what!!! the monster of a bike was certainly going to throw me off..I could feel it...what to do??? I prayed and prayed..and the best part was that the passenger went without a bloddy helmet!!!! How could this happen? Did no one care about the pillion rider...as it was..the roads are a killer here..and sometimes there werent any street lights...Oh the pure agony!!!

Anyway we made it safely and in 1 piece...my knees were wobbly from the whole ride...

I went straight up to the restaurant cum bar..it was soo cool...there were footprint shaped paper stuck everywhere...from trekkers who had been there...the place was really cozy...so we went ahead and sat ourselves down for food and drinks..waiting for my other buddies to arrive...they came trickling in ....we had our resident all rounder ( self appointed photog/barman/entertainer) who kept us in stitches while poking fun at my expense no doubt!

We had our rocker mum too..and our party animal as well..all in all it was a riot!!! One thing about the place is that it's clean,affordable and the toilets are smartly identified..for the men it states" For those who stand"and for the ladies" For those who sit"..hmmm....interesting I thought!

I also managed to come across a team from Malaysia who left thier mark on a footprint!

All of us vowed that we would make this a monthly ritual...soo till the next month...

Here for another year.....

I finally got my Visa...after 1 whole year of waiting..it's finally come!! Boy ,what a relief! To commemorate this monumental event...I'm throwing a party...hahahha...well not really sure how it will be..tonights the night!!
It's been a hectic 2 weeks too, preparing for our Annual Business Plan,lots of presentation and such..in front of the Management Team..it;s a 1st for me...am a little nervous..but I just read a book by TonyRobbins that instead of feeling fear we should associate the feeling with excitement! Hmm....interesting...I shall remember that!!
Now all I have to do is practice my presentation speech and stuff....

It's raining outside,..sheesh!!

The other side of Kathmandu..

The other side of Kathmandu....besides the dust,traffic,noise and smell...a place which may be even remotely modern. While I was walking along this place called Durba Marg, I chanced upon a shop called Hallmark..THE actual Hallmark..who knew we had one in little old Nepal..I didnt take a pic as I was in a hurry ,so I vowed that I would the next time I'm there! sooo....anyway..I did take pics of rows of cars..now thats modern here..and the tarred roads...

How to car/bus pool in Kathmandu...

Not everything here in good ole Kathmandu is all bad...and dreary....some of the things or places are a sight to behold...here are some of those sights...

This was taken on my journey( and I call it journey as here in Kathmandu, a 20 min ride can end up being 1 1/2 hour nightmare) ....but then you learn all about being patient.

One thing I've noticed is that they take car/bus pooling very seriously here! No such thing as too little space..they probably are the experts at using all and I mean ALL available space in or on the vehicle! One can only imagine how they can even grip the sides of the bus and hold on!! It's truly amazing!

How to survive in Nepal

This I might add is just some musings over my time here in Kathmandu, Nepal. Merely observations from a somewhat amazed and at times dazed Malaysian trying her level best to survive in a jostling city where people & animals alike co-exist...

So here now, are some things I have learnt so far...(the list may expand as time goes by..so bear with me)

1. Learn the language FAST...(There is nothing worse than looking like a Nepali and not
speaking it)

2. Learn to drink Tea-even if you don't like it! (It's a staple anywhere, anytime)

3. When going to a party, find out two things: (this applies to the ladies...)

a) Will there be seroius booze involved

b) Will there be girls

Trust me, you dont want to be the only female in a party of Drunken Masters....

4. No matter what kind of restaurant you're in, everyone scans the menu and ALWAYS ends up
ordering the famous"MOMOS"

5. When visiting a new born baby, ALWAYS have Rs101.00 to offer to the babe...

6. When visiting anyone, always finish your food..(it's shows you appreciate the cooking)

7. When shopping, ALWAYS bring a Nepali friend with you...(they will help with the bargaining)

8. Strikes ,Bandhs or fuel shortage...are a VALID form of excuse for not coming to work!!

The World according to Me..: Ms Prim...

The World according to Me..: Ms Prim...

The largest Application Form

I'm just gonna leave a small message saying that this is the 1st time I've ever seen an application form this big before. It covers nearly half the page...I thought it was kinda cool...

The sights and smells of Kathmandu

Ahh...it's really very fascinating how the things actually work here...just the other day I was readin the papers about the accumulation of garbage here. If one goes onto the streets, one can see and smell the "wonderful scent" of garbage wafting in the air. Its a sight to behold, not to say that Malaysia is not better.I'm sure there are places that have something similar to this..but here it is a constant problem....it's just an eye sore...cows and dogs munchin on leftovers..street vendors by the road selling thier wares next to the the rubbish like it was part of everyday life. And sometimes I feel it IS thier way of life. It's so sad sometimes to see such a state of affairs but that's the life here and accept it I will.

Of Wild parties and Wilder people!!!!

Boy!! What a night I had y'day!! The 1st and probably last time I will ever attend an F&B get together (NEPALI style)....I thought I'd seen it all , wild parties but this was verging on OVER the TOP!! The party started at 6pm and I heard went on till 2am, half the crowd were pissed drunk to walk a straight line! and that was only at 8.30pm when I arrived. Now ,the team predominantly male, were waiting in anticipation ( so I heard) for my arrival.....I could not understand why...they were calling their boss asking if I was coming..blah..blah..blah...

When I arrived I was whisked away by a drunk /high (who cares) employee I know and forced to get a drink. I politely declined...and practically had to pry myself from his clutches!!! Foul breath, not to mention creep feeling....I found myself suddenly thrust into another crowd of "high" testosterone males who all insisted I dance with them...damn!! I was feeling a little frazzled by all this...I made an excuse that I would get a drink 1st before I danced, so I headed to the bar....got myself a coke..(Thank God for that!!)

Sat myself next to my sober colleague and pretended to talk to him...until the Drunken Masters(I shall call them that-DM for short) blared my name through the mike.calling me on stage!! well it was not really a stage..more like 2 steps up to the DJ console...(whatever!!)....they had a small cake all set out for one of the few ladies who were present..was her B'day...so we all sang the song...and she cut her cake...and out of the blue one of the DM tried to shove a piece in my face...the more I avoided..the more he tried to shove it!!!

I grabbed the cake from him and went to sit again....another one of the DM sat next to me and started babbling on about how I looked..etc..etc....at that point I felt really uneasy...luckily for me..one of my colleagues saved me....Bless his heart.

I tried to escape and did a few times..but most of it was spent in the company of men who were just off their rockers...They just acted like fools and I felt sorry for them....coz even though THEY would not remember what happened , I WOULD!!!! Pity I didn;t have my camera or take pics...that would have been a hoot!!

Hmmm...oh well....something I learnt only in Nepal....

My obsession...

This is an obsession....bottles...bottles..and more bottles...I collect them...all kinds of bottles..I told myself that I wouldnt when I'm here..but that didnt stop me, now I have a collection in my room..2 of which I had and the rest is from the bar from the hotel. I wonder how I'm gonna transport them back home. I cant help it, it's interesting to look at the them, different shapes and sizes...well..at least I;m not obsessed with the contents of the bottles..which could be worst!!

Darn it, I feel a pimple growing!!! Shit!! There's already 2 on my face.. huge one...I havent had one in so long, hormonal changes..getting old...hmmm....those where the days of toned bodies now i feel all rubbery! Well, I'm not giving up, I'm working out and I WILL get into shape by Sept!! A hot bod like Jeniffer Garner..maybe if I write this down it will happen!!!

Hot Bod ..hot bod!! Slowly but surely I will get there.

Yawn...

Yawnn........I'm tired actually....had a pretty long day. I'm watching a documentary on Marlon Brando..quite informative. Lots of old actors talking....Yawnn....again...sometimes I feel so alone, other times I feel like I can take over the world. I don;t know why this is so, I always pray really hard for God to give me strength. I'm gonna go for a party tomorrow evening....with the F&B team..not sure why they invited me....but I'll go anyway.

From stragers to friends.....

I just came back from a short walk...and my thoughts wandered to this article I read about the difference it makes between who you choose as friends. The questions is.."In life, are strangers drawn to you or are you the one who chooses them?" Reflecting on this, I believe that some of the friends that I know were chosen by me and some were drawn to me by chance, destiny, pre arranged meetings...(not by me of course)..
Some have turned into wonderful, lifelong fruitful relationships, while others have just wilted away and died a natural death (the relationship I mean..) whether it's owed to my own doing..i'm not sure....there are even some relationships that have nearly gone into the ICU of relationships but somehow or rather been jolted back to life and kept on going......
Nevertheless, I'm glad I've known most of them in my lifetime and I hope to have many more...

Will where are you??

Willpower!!! where has it gone??? Here I am trying to get my act together...and my willpower deserts me at the most inopportune time!! I was strong willed before.. but I don't know where it went to , it's like my will has gone for a long walk and not retuend to the owner..How do Iget it back?? Will..Will..?? where are you??

Damn..Creed is playing on the tele...I love them!!His voice is sooo macho!! See..even when I'm typing I still cant concentrate on what I'm doing...which is looking for my will....Well I'm pretty sure it never left me..I mean, how can willpower just lave?? not possible..it's hiding somewhere and it's waiting for me to find it!!

Come on Mary....you are living here in a place full of challenges and you can't find something so simple as your Will?? Well, what should I do ? my mind needs to change the way it thinks and works, when my body wants to get up, my mind tells me.."No..you don't need to get up this early.." "you can sleep some more.."....and I go right back to sleep!! This is not good at all.. ..I was much more disciplined before I went on holiday,the moment I came back, my will slipped!!

I'll start again tomorrow morning...and I WILL Sleep early ...that's what I'l do tonight...

A New Nepal....

It's the weekend, did I say that in my last blog..cant remember..anyway it's strikes and "bandhs" again today...what else is new!! Is there all these people can do,for everything that goes wrong the answer for them is to call a stike and create havoc for everyone!!
It's understandable that they don't have a voice and most of the time they are not heard, plus the govt's attitude towards the situation is not really what you may call a "listening" one.

The political scene is also not too promising...which only make everyting else a lot more difficult to deal with...my heart goes out to the people, they are the one in dire straits...

Everyone talks about the New Nepal...I was also witness to the birth of the New Nepal..from being a kingdom to a republic...change is not going to be easy but I do hope that there is progress...

Whatever

I finally got my Visa!! What a relief , I can finally open an account, start checking out the online Degree programme ,transfer $$ to my mum...ahh...

Lately, I've been feeling a little low..cant pinpoint what it i actually..just feel lonesome sometimes, I try so hard to keep an open mind..bring happy thoughts smile..but when I go to bed a night it just feels all the more worse...
I think too much sometimes, a bit too much actually, why!! Why do I always get myself into this situation??? I know it only brings me back to that dark place and I told myself I would never never ever go back there again!!!
It's like a black hole sucking me in..it weakens the body and mind!! But I will perservere I will be in Control!!
I have to let go..that's what I need to do ..let go and let God take over! I can't do this by myself, I have to move on in my life and enjoy the journey. I tell this over and over, Enjoy the journey ....

Well at least now I'm listenning to some rock music..havent done that in quite a while...

In a blink...

Today while I was working, I realized that yesterday marked my 14th year with the company.Wow!!! I did not even realize it, damn...how much I have grown with the organisation, they've been really good to me also, no doubt..I remember the 1st day I went for my interview,hundreds and hundreds of people around....all looking to be the "chosen one".

A Hyatt in our hometown was a Big deal!! I did some research on the hotel, went for my 1st interview, I was so nervous..I remember I wore this really bright yellow dress type thing..hahaahha..I think I still have that dress in my closet back home, tucked away somewhere. Well, maybe that dress was a lucky charm, I got thorugh..

Believe me, what came next was a whirldwind of activity in the hotel, we were part of the pre-opening team.Meeting new people, meeting my boss..and boy..was my boss ever good looking!!!! He was like a model, tall,fair,handsome...spoke sooo well..he could melt the even the White Witch of Narnia!!!

It was an experience to remember..those carefree times...no worries..we used to party like hell..nearly every weekend we would go out..ahhh....fond memories..

Some tough times I had ...but I managed to keep my head obove water..and survived..

And look where it landed me...some 14 years later, in my cozy hotel room, with a laptop(which by the way came free) in a foreign land, learning and teaching...

Amazing!!! So, herre's to ME...may I survive another year with my sanity still intact....

The rain...

Ahhh.....I'm in the confines of my comfy room, with the rain pelting down...signs that the monsoon is drawing near..I dislike rain..and I'm putting it mildly..my friends know that of me...I really dont like rain, getting caught in it I mean..as soon as fat little droplets strike the ground,or my skin or the windshield of my car..I let out a muffled oath..or I whine..or even exclaim.."It's R-A-I-N-I-N-G..." I cant even say the word...I have t spell it!!!

I dont mind the rain if I'm tucked away in my room under the covers, I'm not into day time showers either...I just have no idea why..but that's me..

I had a really frantic and crazy week so far..continued with our celebration culminating in a grand "gala" dinner and show, we danced till there was no tomorrow...damn, the music rocked!!!!

Everyone was partying-never knew these people were wild!!!

Ahhh...the sound of thunder..haven't heard that in a while and I'm pretty sure it's going to continue for the next few weeks...hmmmm.....

What to do? what to do?? Thank God I got myself some books to read, at least that will keep me occupied when it rains. Tomorrow is a working day for me..how boring but at least I wont be disturbed much.

Guess I'll have an early night.

Let the celebrations begin...oops I forgot some parts

I was so tired, that I even forgot some additional stuff we did during our festivities..We had our all important Tree Planting ceremony...that was hilarious to watch actually...and guess who was there to capture the moments...yours truly..

Everyone was really into this whole tree planting...all my departments took part,they each had a plot for their saplings..and went right into the whole exercise. As always, everyone wanted their pics taken...I was like this bee buzzing around from one end to another..I tell you, I haven't done this kind of workout in a long time and the sun was practically burning our skin off!!!

By the time we finished I was gasping for air and dreaming of drinking a gallon of Coke! Fat chance that would happen- so I made do with a cup of iced juice instead. It was fun day for all of us and now we are the proud owners of whatever tree that we planted, although I may only get to see my tree perhaps in 2011...

Later on in the day, we had a game of volleyball which was really exciting. I cheered and cheered till my voice was sore but what the heck-it was done to celebrate our people....so that I certainly did!!

Let the celebrations begin....

Pheewh!!! What a day this was and it;s only the beginning!! It;s our annual "Celebrating Our People" week and damn...what a roller coaster ride!!

Day 1 started off fairly slow-we had to greet our employees at the entrance..somehow or rather I was roped in as the "unofficial" photographer...(I seem to be doing that a lot)..so there I was clicking away on my trusty camera, requests from people left and right demanding their faces be immortalized in print!!

The crowd was slowly trickling into work, some bleary eyed from the day before..(they must have had a little too much..), as people approached the entrance, we took bets to see if we could recognize their faces from a distance!!

Some employees were so distinctive..from the way they walked, to the way they dressed, to their hair!! We gave each one some chocos and sent them on their way...some of the choch (well i think a lot of the chocs) landed in my Chef's mouth too....(hahahah)

We also prepared lunch for "Our People" ..me as always ...click..click..clicking away...my God I never knew that the people here ate so much..and I mean really really eat so MUCH! ..I saw one guy having 4 helpings of the food...the rice piled up as tall as the Everest itself ! I must say the food was actually delicious...compared to the usual S**t I have! We also had this cake cutting ceremony, and that was a total chaotic situation!!

The cake was wheeled in by the chefs, and immediately a huge crowd formed, and they started taking pic of the cake-I said out loud that the cake was more like a celebrity than it was a cake to be eaten. And when finally it came to the eating of the cake-it was a if the people were suddenly transformed into starving piranhas!!! People pushing and shoving, thrusting plates at me...while here I was the struggling "unofficial" photographer trying to cut and serve the damn stupid cake!!!

I was getting a little annoyed..and here in this country..you cant show your annoyance nor can you raise your voice even a little for fear that "certain parties" would misunderstand it and cause a ruckus!!
So I tried as much to hold my tongue and with a little help from my friends I made it through.
Sheesh-by the time I was done- I was covered in icing and licking my fingers from all that cake! Boy...I have never ever seen anything like that in my entire life....

Tomorrow is Day 2-God only knows what's in store.....Good Luck to me....

Ms Prim...

I just realized that I may be an uptight "panties in a bunch" woman!!! Why do i say this?? Well, someone asked me a question( and it is not another woman-I dare say)...about what type of shoes I wear and how high they are..and I got annoyed!!!

Does that mean I am uptight?? Well on that person's part, who would even ask that kind of question to someone you dont really know well? Perhaps, I was a tad too prissy...my over-active imagination working extra hard to scramble my brain, hmmm....I mean, it was only a curious question (right?)....I mean, as a woman..would I ask another man (what shoes he wears and ask him to describe them to me?) Perhaps that would even turn the man on!!!

Is it because, men have been so stereotyped as chauvinistic, egotistical, "sex- on the mind" beings that us; women, tend to be cautious about questions like this.

Do we ( or shall I just stick to ME) take the bold step and radically change the way we ( or I)behave or is there still a small glimmer of hope that in cyberspace..especially on the the internet....we could have a decent conversation and not doubt the other party's motives....

Well, all I know is that, I may need to lighten up a little and not take things too seriously (which by the way is what certain people think of me).....

My trip to the KATC

Since I've been living in Nepal for the past 9 months, I've been trying to find ways to occupy my time productively ( as I call it) instead of lounging around on my bed or sofa...so I browsed around the web and came across this site on KATC. (that was 1 month ago) since then I have not done a single thing to accomplish my goal of going to the KATC (Kathmandu Animal Treatment Centre)

So, y'day I took a bold step and ventured into the unknown...got myself a cab, cost me a fortune..and went on my way. The journey there was kinda cool, bumpy at times, dusty of course-most of the roads here are..and scenic too. It was a 30 minute drive, the taxi driver as like all taxi drivers here, did not know the way so I had to use my trusty hp to call the centre.

Finally made it! It was a modest place, met with the ppl there, went around the place, saw the dogs in thier kennels, it was good to see that they were all taken care off, it was clean( which was really important for me)

Had a chat with the caretaker, he gave me some forms to fill and i got myself a T-shirt..

Took some pics of the doggies..Tango and Tara...she was sooo sweet (little Tara)...my heart went out to them. Now all i need to do is get my Visa done and i can start....my Visa.. another long story...for another day perhaps...

My neighbour has left....

How time flies...it seems only like yesterday that I came here to Kathmandu some 9 months ago.. and so it's time so say a fond farewell to my neighbour and colleague..it had been a wondeful experience knowing them.but too short, I must say.

I only feel that I was too late in getting aquainted with them...I kept to myself most of the times ..only recently did I really spend time with them...I realized that the one whom I thought was closest kept themselve away from these very nice people...

To JK & Vinti I wish them all the happiness in Goa..thier new home..

I lost a friend...

I lost a good friend today!!! He was stabbed to death back home, I cant believe it!! I just got a mail from him 2 days ago!!! Dammit!! If i had only replied, who could have done such a thing!!! And I cant even go for his funeral since im here!!

He had so many friends ...why is this happning???? Im in daze..everyone will be there...he was our housemate, a colleague, a friend...

We shared such good times together...at the house!! Bhav called to tell me the news!I was stunned!! I couldnt believe it!!

End of my free & easy times.....

Ahh..the end of my vacation draws ever so closely, I don't want it to end, it's been heaven!! I've relaxed, shopped, spent time with family-all the good times, even missing my friends and loved one...im moody now, very melancholy-I like that word a lot-sounds so Shakespearean.....I don't want this to end, going back to a foriegn land-somewhere I don't feel a connection-why ???
It's a job-I have to go, when i'm there it won't feel so bad,I guess.
Kathmandu is not exactly a haven for anything-except that you get to be by yourself a lot, more time to focus on what I want to do...I'm hurting inside...but wounds are healing slowly.
Staying focused is not as easy as I thought, but I know I will get to where I want to be.
All good things come to an end and opens doors for new beginings...

The start of a newbee blogger....

Why now??? Blogging never crossed my mind until recently....putting words and thoughts for the world to see...is there no privacy anymore..then why am I on the bandwagon???
Perhaps, reaching out to strangers and pouring my guts out has a certain appeal to it...maybe somewhere in some part of this small world-there is someone or many others who share the same feeling I do.
All us mere mortals going through life's harshness or bounty need to share and believe that we are not different-that there are similarities between people
it is not just about writing down thoughts -it is about showing your vulnerability that yes in fact we ARE souls drifting in the sea of humanity...So here I am-jabbering on about my understanding of blogging-wondering if anyone cares to even read what I have to say!!
Well-sod off to all,who cares!! It gives me comfort and that is all it is....